Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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