for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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