i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize