Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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