Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
