Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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