you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
