I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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