Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
