I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
