I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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