He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Bring me that man meat
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
