Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
