I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
