He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
