I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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