you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Green mimosas i think yes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
