I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
