Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
