We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
