Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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