I'm gonna have a badass scar
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
