the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
