sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
