Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
