A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
