Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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