If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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