And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
