just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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