So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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