theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
