i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
