so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
