Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
