I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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