Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
