we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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