Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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