if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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