this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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