I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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