the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
