You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
