I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
