If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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