Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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