wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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