a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
