I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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