Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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