I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
