Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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