My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
