I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
