You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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