I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
