please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
