And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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