We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
