Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
