Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
