Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This house was built for laser tag.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Randomize
